28/02/15

the day after mommy's birthday vacation.. 

6 years, after 6 years finally, finally we got to see them, touch them, eat at the same table and we hugged, some were holding tears ..me too. We have missed you so much. Everything looked good. We tried so hard to take things funny but we all know this is just a part of human weakness. Nothing is fun here, its just another way to go through this part of lost life. I have never accepted 'stay strong' in my life because i accepted weakness as a part of me and i have no idea what the hell is strong we are just human. So much emotions,  so soft and so fragile. All memories brought up hurts so much, I will never forget those tears in her eyes. I always ask myself why did bad things like this happen to us? Why us? then I never got an answer, never. And, I laughed. They dont know.. I cried so much, I blamed so much, I hated so much. I am just an ordinary girl who wishes to trade something to get those things back but the cruelest murderer is greed. 

- - - -You're killing yourself - - - -

x x

When i say 'I love you', he says 'Thank you"

------- meanwhile my valentine is currently cooking our dinner downstairs ------

Hey valentine,

How awkward to have such valentine who would literally have gone to the florist two days before Feb 14 with his girlfriend and proudly presented to her what color of wrapping papers she probably will be seeing the next two days. Being able to know that someone like you is a dream because we still do our things and we are boring together. That every-Saturday-girlfriend's-place routine is getting so much aww from the groupie. Since the cheesy pasta meal for the first time i got addicted to the way you talk, the things you do and them big eyes. Unpleasant things that i risk us to let you know you began to make things better which surprised me every now and then. "could you just be lil more rational?", the only thing you say to me when i was getting on your nerves sorry bae. The solution to me pms is lovely.

Last time when i saw this {i'll be there for you when you're sad/down} i thought i'll only feel sad bcs of him then why do i need him?? but this never happened when we are together. I say 'im crying' shamelessly idk why and he will call right away and tell me 'let me protect you'. & this fellow dont really hurt me at all. He knows how 'thin' my 'skin' is .. Thats the greatest gift and im so thankful. I knew i can do all this i can handle things without being depending on anybody else all the time but you know there are assholes out there and thats when he will be my hero.

He took videos wherever he went on trip without me. I got distracted by his sweetness. I couldn't focus on places he was trying to show me, i was smiling through the video because of his efforts are always so heart warming and true. && something very important is that he cooks he is a good cook. I cant count the amount of time he ordered me to 'go watch tv and wait i'll cook'. I appreciate his move to slowly let me join in with their family so that he can let me stay in and he will go for football roarrr and there's so much love from them. He poops rainbow in the sky for me every day when i can hear him arrived at the college main door and we go for lunch. He holds my hand while drives as long as the speed is allowed him to do so ><

He got me flowers randomly and he will let the salesperson to take down the bag i want and pay for it without giving me any chances to stop him. He dont talk sweet, when i say 'i love you' he says 'thank you'. whyyyy bae why??? I will sometimes lay on his chest for a while when he is driving cz i want to sniff him yet 9 out of 10 times he wont give any response at all but is ok still love you.

Happy Valentines day, thank you for the dinner and them pretty roses.

T R U S T x F A I T H 

whats worth it

He held my hand so tight while laughed at me when the nurse was poking the needles into my skin today..

He let me sniffed him all the time and he smelled sourly hehe ew..

He talks to me every night and never said he wanted to sleep first until i voiced out.

He made me crazily mad at him.. quite often then he covered things up so fast that i wonder its the love or its his skill 

I can't think of a single issue that has changed over time since the day we met. Them people talked a lot but i chose to believe what i see and how i feel about this. 

we've all grown up 

it has come to a point where 'no' is hard to say, ego is taking over child-liked faith.

what meant to happen will find its way eventually.

"If you love someone, set them free."

---- our first love quote to each other

but sometimes,

 all we want to say is stay.