Growing up

 What sums up the 21 years i've survived through is that life is pretty interesting. We came to this world that day and we are taught to meet people, a lot of memories are created, feelings and thoughts varied by time, things have been done until this moment...

Me? I have constantly been told to stay family oriented and do the right things for my own sake. I kinda accepted it and began to try and try to become more easy going to follow the flow in some parts of life but sometimes i got distracted by desire, negativity, trend nowadays and the old me. Daddy's saying 'only we have fought through all the bitterness in life and gone through all the downs, what's left will be happiness.'

the waiter told me to make a lot of wishes I closed my eyes and wished for people I love to stay healthy forever, just stay with me. That night was so beautiful but please bear with my greediness I wanted them to come back to celebrate with me, my best friends and lover. I learnt a lot from them, friends always help and inspire me to be better while the boyfriend will always be my second dad. They are the most lovely. Thank you for entering in my life.

21st birthday sounds like a big time. Quite excited for the future, whats next?

...find something that you love and do it every day,

do that for the rest of your life and eventually, the world will change - Macklemore

"i have a theory that i can make my girl more beautiful by being with me." - him

i might not know how, might not know why, but we are beautiful now..

He doesnt leave space for me to overthink at night.
He shares everything with me.
He talks about whats he gonna do for the night.
Then he talks about the next morning schedule.
We dont text much during the day.
We talk about everything before bed.
For the reason of aint-nobody-like-him-kind-of-guy,
I think this guy is cute
I adore him
I love him
and of course,
I miss him.

Thousand miles away,
not only you make her beautiful,
also she's better now, for you.

Indescribable
Irreplaceable
Incorruptible.

x

you worth it

every time we met it felt like the last time.. and its getting stronger the feeling of separation

day by day people come n go sometimes we gotta learn to see who stay for us and be grateful < 3 

you left somebody behind too. its a part of life we can never avoid. being alone is so cool but when someone who's closed to perfect appears and showers you with love and care, that's what a loner had been waited for.

love is so powerful that it makes people cry and smile in seconds. it motivates even lazy ppl to get up for it. it inspired people it changed people and it made people a better ones knowing that they need to stay together with and take care of someone else. it gives people a life, a completed life people have been fighting for, have been eyeing for their future. what's happier than having people you loved around you everyday and making fun of each other, making noises and laughters together and having dinner together?

and there will be someday, someone will make you feel like home.
 


good luck x

To May 2016

Gone through whats written in the post from Its the soul that needs the surgery - pretty hurts by beyonce at college.

I had that written in May 2014. For some reasons, I was reading them old posts words by words and i guess its time to give myself an answer in return to the letter. Except sister has started her cooking class here, the rest of it did not happen i guess.. im graduating in half year time its the happiest thing ever i think i hate school. I study for the sake to get self satisfaction not for the sake to get a cert lol im serious..

and I wasn't in a relationship in 2014 May but yes im now in and its gonna the 'trendy' ldr soon.... that kind of love that brings strong mental and heart connection but not the physical that kind ....

- - - counting down 38 days - - -

[ To May 2016 ]

Graduated after 5 months. Thinking about new room design for the coziest! Came back from aus to visit the boyfriend. Going for work every weekdays and helping out the house as usual. Hearts got fonder and grown up a lil bit bcs im alone now. We gotta wish for the best for our loved one. Doing the right things last. I want us to last. Feeling grateful for such a keeper never stops putting effort to let me know that he needs ..to feed me... hmm and yes, still, I send the family cakes constantly-- to see them all fine.

Started seeing them old friends too,, had some great time and hitting gym has become a big part of my daily routine. Feeling a lil surprised to have stuck with this lifestyle. It's healthy, u know, really... Body, health, soul and mind must be taken care wisely.. for a compassionate life and to reach equanimity. There's a lot more to learn.

Faith x trust + determination

tolerance

Had a sensitive talk with sister during a night drive..

She brought up the word 'tolerance' that i was undeniably threatened by it. I believed most of the unhappiness I ever felt might simply be caused by the fact that i had almost zero knowledge about 'tolerance'.

I took it as the way of my life.  I never felt wrong at all cz they satisfied me most of the time. Things that ever required 'tolerating' will immediately be eliminated.

Now Im feeling sorry because I had never learnt tolerating. I just took up the lesson half an hour ago. Give me some time to practise. I didnt know people could tolerate to smooth things up. Bitter-smiling while writing.. what have i been doing all my life??

After 21 years finally someone who's so much younger than me taught me such lesson called 'tolerance'.

I guess there's still a lot more to catch up with honest people who are willing to educate me more. The real education is priceless. I gotta work things out.