Sorrow

The indian uncle blocked my car, walked towards me in a sense that he would have killed me. He opened up my door and scolded me some vulgarities and a lot more of excuses which indicate that i might have killed him and his mother driven by him in the car due to my carelessness while driving. In my deep heart core, I wanna say sorry. I apologized but I know I wasnt sincere at all I was just afraid of a huge guy who had guts to block my way and any other road users' way, caused the traffic to turn heavy due to his own business. He was just to throw his anger to me, it might be really a small portion of the reason that he cares about his mom but that was not the right way. I dont feel sorry anymore because of your attitude. Violence. Who are the people who can feel absolutely cool at all when people throw you shit. I do really wish I was and am as fine as I looked like. It hurts so bad. Met so many unpleasant cases since the beginning of the year. What is going on with me. Apart from that, I tap on his name on my phone I wanted to call him and tell him whats wrong and I needed help. I need a shoulder I want a hug. Im just a girl how strong do you expect me to be? How hard for a girl to stay faithful, take care of herself, keep on waiting, do every single thing to make sure she is independent enough and to get you back? We said we will get married, we said we will start our own family. That could be us but you dont love me. I was the one you needed but now you're gone, im done.

you: "call me when you have any emergency or anything"

you: "why would you call me for such a small case.. *call ended*"

you: dont find me anymore"

Now we dont talk anymore we are not friends we cant even be strangers to each others, we can only be invisible. So right now, all i can say is goodbye.

Cest la vie!

=)

You are the reason

Stop puttin on 'social' make ups makes me slightly not feeling cool with it. Low confidence. What to do. This is me photobombed by Doug, my relative from hongkong. :) Had a week of fun time with him and the rest of the relatives. Only special occasions unite us or we will only be seeing each other once a year or no. Cycling around the island was fun but let it snow babeh it would be the best..

Doug.
He is 30 and he doenst understand why malaysians (chinese) get married so early. Answer him for me cz im rage im a hashtag foreveralone people.

I feel grateful having a bunch of awesome cousin. I like all of them I wanna be like them most of them are all well-behaved and follow what their parents say so they never walk the 'blind' paths.. and Im the only one prefers the 'adventurous' path that I hate myself so much.. I fell so many times and this path hurts.. so much

Ah B slash burrito slash da fei.
Haven't really been watching you growing up that time except cari gaduh with you but you're the best partner of all time for me now and then. Luckily i got you. Thats all i can say. Thank you for every single troll and joke i love all of them. #justsayingcozminemorekeat

Diet.

My face got so puffy these days and Im so sad so sadddd...... I started to starve myself and I cant fall asleep due to hunger T____T I should go jogging cardio cardio cardio kkkkk I go now bye

Walking in loubs

We dont hold on things that hurt us, we feel pain aren't we?
I do wish this is a tangible item I could just leave it and there will be pain no more.
But girls, are designer heels hurt?
Tell me how comfortable you are walking in them. I have no clues.

Keeping them as a part of the collection ya?
Walking in them everyday no?

This makes sense to me.

Greedy human beings

When people is dead, you want him alive and nothing else.
When people is alive now, you want him to be yours.
When he is yours,
you want him to be all good to you,
you want him to be all faithful to you,
you want him to make you feel secured,
you want him to love you beyond universe,
you want him not to hurt you at all when all those hurts might actually come from your own overthinking and guessing.
Now you have got your perfect man that is 100% rated 5 stars from people around you and guess what ..you're into somebody else already or he has another love affair already and it comes to a 'broken hearted' you or him. Then it comes to the end of the story.

Reasons for me to be alone all this time and even afraid to be close to anybody else because people just cant get enough.

If everyone be like 'this is our first date..' every time they meet, bringing that passion to every single time they meet, i swear there will be no heart broken stories, there will either be 'im so into him or her' or 'no more next time and be gone' instead of waiting, crying, heart breaking, apologising etc etc etc whatever

How many of them are actually suffering for this suffocating love life?
How many left that are happily being with their partners, i wanna say i'll learn from you guys and congratulation.

How many of them still cry to sleep or suffer from insomnia every single night, afraid to text him or her due to 'ego' issue, 'fear' issue, 'better dont disturb him or her' issue? Stop that because you have a lot to do with your life, to be a better you, think of your family first, that bunch of friends and go traveling.
The right one will come at the right time babe just stop chasing, if they care, they will chase after you and not giving up.
Love yourself.

Sincerely, me.

Forgetful

Sometimes you try your hardest, but things dont work out the way you want them to.

OR

Sometimes you try your hardest, but things dont work out the way you want them to, then try harder.

I once sent this to one my old friend and he replied the second statement. I thought for a while and i was initially disagreed with him but then i think again, i wouldnt say i nod but point of view thing.

Came out with the idea of forgetful because it has been a long forgetful life 

I've been living as a forgetful person for 20 years and recently only i learnt to appreciate and always bear in mind about all the goodness in people, in everything. 

You might forget to bring something small to school today but I forgot that Im not his girlfriend anymore today

I forgot we are not friends anymore not even necessary to say hi

I forgot how a love relationship works that as a girl dont approach guys with girlfriends cz Im not feeling comfortable if i were that girl

I forgot that I was under disguise as a cheerful girl till i treated someone emotionally today only I realised thats the real me but how could people live if we are all showing our real feelings when the world needs no negativity no more

I forgot we should put family first they are the only one stand with you forever

I forgot love was once nonsense to me and now im letting it occupies me every single part of me

I forgot to love myself and whoever deserves it and I forgot I've been doing a same mistake over and over again

I forgot who am I today.